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Reflection.

Dissection.

Reasoning.

Sifting.

Restructuring.

Purification.

Clarity.

Healing.

This process of "what was", to "why it was", to "how is it now", to "how will it be", is something I think we all need to go through: and believe it or not, this can happen with God as the center of it all. We can ask the "why's" and even the "why me's" and discover ourselves all while asking God to be the center of our focus. We can revolve these moments completely around Him by referencing scripture, praying, as we dig deeper into who we are and why we are who we are.

I think it's so incredible that while God wants us to be followers of Christ and live Godly lives, that He wants us to be the unique individuals that He created us to be. It takes me back to the "one body, many parts" section of scripture that talks about us all being different, and how those differences work together to create one body: a unity that, without the diversity would serve no purpose.

"The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ" (1 Cor. 12:12). "But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body" (1 Cor. 12:18-20).

Individuality is discovered through a true, honest evaluation of self. We need to dig through the muck and grime of our pasts, resolve the hurts, the regrets, the pain, the unforgiveness, and the guilt and the shame before we can truly take on His breastplate of righteousness - and believe that we are forgiven.

It is definitely not an easy road to take, but it is far more rewarding than to continuously make the same mistakes and open the door to the same hurts over and over again. God has blessed me with an amazing support system so that I might take this road less traveled and find myself along the way. But most importantly I'm finding more, and more... and more of Him along the way: and He is the whole reason I began searching in the first place.