Theology Recap Tuesday - With a Twist!

So the plague has subsided... a bit. Now we're into phase two of the illness: antibiotics and the nausea that ensues. Lovely. Well, it's better than not being able to "breave troo by tose". For those of you NOT fluent in "sickspeak", that is, "breath through my nose". My roommate made fun of me... made fun of me for days! for sounding like that. She's pure evil I tell you. Well so anyway, I'm starting to feel a significant airflow through the nasal passages, which means I'm on my way to recovery, and I'll be able to sing again! (Drives me crazy when I can't.)

Okay so! Yesterday, I only stayed for the first half of class, because as you all know, I stayed home from work yesterday. Realistically I probably should have just kept my tail home altogether, but I didn't want to hand in my papers late. So I showed up and stayed for about an hour and a half. We covered some rather common sense-type material yesterday, but interesting no less... and always a good reminder.

"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come" (2 Cor. 5:17).

I love the idea of regeneration. I've actually been thinking a lot about that lately. For those of you who have been raised in the church your whole lives, I'm sure it's hard sometimes to understand the other side of salvation. But honestly, to be raised up out of the muck, out of our miry clay, and to be transformed into a new creature in Christ, is a mind-blowing, surreal concept to me. I still very often look back in pure awe of what has become of my life since Christ saved me. "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect" (Romans 12:2). It's scriptural that we become a new creation when we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, but it still astounds me no less. God cleanses us: he purifies our spirits, he washes away our sins. He gives us a new character with new desires, and most importantly, He adopts us into His family: in that very moment, we become daughters/sons of God! How amazing! And to think: all it takes are two simple things - faith and repentence.

I still remember my salvation like it was yesterday. It really didn't happen in the blink of an eye like it does for some people. I can't honestly tell you that God just knocked me on my rear and said, "Hello! Here I am!" So really, I can't tell you the exact date of my salvation, but it was a gradual process for me. I know that it all started in April of 2004: I had been the "party queen". I couldn't go to a single bar in Milwaukee without knowing at least one person. I can say with honesty that I was out on the town probably six if not seven nights a week. I absolutely destroyed my classically trained singing voice with a pack a day of cigarettes (more some days if I drank very heavily that particular day), and was throwing away sick amounts of money on liquor and cigarettes. I could go into much more detail, but I'll leave it there. You get the drift. I was a wreck.

So I met these girls, Ra-Ra and Leah through a mutual friend out at karaoke bar that we frequented, and over the course of time we befriended one another. To make a long story even longer, they had found a four bedroom apartment on the east side that they really really needed a fourth for. Would I be interested? I lived in a studio apartment on the condo strip along the lakefront - Be-a-UTIFUL area: looking back, the whole scenario kind of reminds me of the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's". Anyway! So I say yes, break my lease at the studio, and move in with these girls. Little did I know, Leah was a "lifer" Christian who just happened to backslide a bit, and who had just recently started bringing Ra-Ra to church with her. So now Ra-Ra is in mid-conversion, Leah's back on track, and they are both now on a mission to save me. Great. There was even a framed picture of Jesus hanging right at our front door. And actually as a side-note, God had been all around me my whole life. I had friends in high school, middle school, and college who were Christians. They all planted seeds, but I never really wanted to experience salvation because I didn't want to give up my life. Wow did I get side-tracked here... let me steer myself back to the original point. Kind of.

Okay, so after months of listening to worship music blare from the first floor, my roommates talking with me about God, praying with me, taking me with them to church, and so on and so forth, I felt my heart begin to change. It was subtle, but it was there. Gradually, I stopped smoking. The desire for this cursed cancer-stick which I had tried to quit on my own hundreds of times, had seeminly just faded away. I realized that going out became increasingly less fun for me each and every time I went. I found myself talking about God in the bars. I came to the conclusion that perhaps I should step away from that scene for awhile as to work on my relationship with God. If you only realize what I gave up: So.Many.Friends. Looking back, these friends weren't worth my time anyway: they were just drinking buddies. But still! At the time, it seemed like the biggest sacrifice ever! But I was doing it for God, and in my heart it just felt right. Going to church, or staying home and reading my Bible, praying, and discussing God's Word with my roommates suddenly made the most sense. Don't get me wrong: I stumbled. I stumbled big a few times. But God was there every step of the way... guiding me, catching me when I fell, even lending me a hand when I actually did hit the ground... but he has never left me. He even healed my singing voice! To which, some of you, you may be thinking, "so what? Good for you". But honestly, when I say I destroyed it: I mean I destroyed it. I sounded like a "bar hag" when I first walked into that church, I kid you not. But I knew what He really gave me that gift for: and I was truly repentent for having abused it... in fact, I was crushed. I was miserable that I couldn't sing and glorify Him! But He heard those prayers and healed me! Praise God! That in and of itself has been an uphill battle for me, because he didn't just give it back to me all at once: He really made me work and pray for it! And He's still increasing my range and quality - it's so exciting to see God's hand at work! (Oh, and by the way... remember the karaoke bar in which I met my roommates? Yeah. The karaoke lady is now saved, and incidentally now one of my closest friends. God is SO cool.)

Anyway, throughout all of this: I hit the ground running. In ministry, in prayer... pastors still joke and say that I chose the advanced program of salvation. One ticket for the Express Train to Salvation please! Yeah, that was me. And still is! I'm just at a place now where I need to mature in my faith. I'm no longer a baby... I need to keep growing. We all do. I don't think we ever "spritually grow up" completely. So that is where I find myself today: active in ministry, always seeking more, and praising God for the good work He's done in me. That reminds me of a song by Sara Groves that has been so dear to my heart all of this time. I actually sang it in church not to long ago...

The One Thing I Know

And the clouds just parted

on a corner of my life

And I can see for miles

And the things I was stuck on

Things I thought would never change

They just broke open wide

This is the one thing I know

You said you won't let me go

You said you won't let me go

You've done a good work in me

And you won't quit till I'm free

And the veil just lifted

I can finally understand

The way you work in me

But even if I didn’t

You are still a sovereign God

Who has a plan for me
It ‘s good to know you work with hurt and broken souls

And that you’ll take a soul like mine

In all the world nothing's taken hold of me

Like Christ...

This song really speaks my heart, and even though this post is beginning to be a mile long, I really wanted to share it with you, because it speaks so much truth about our God and how much He really loves us. He'll stop at nothing to make us His children. And when we finally do accept Him, repent, and have faith, we get to experience that regeneration, that new joyous birth, that only true salvation can provide. We become purified and sanctified, set apart... made holy in Christ. Often times it doesn't just happen over night; and no one said it would be easy. But His work in us is continual - we're His from the moment we hit the ground on our knees and ask for His mercy. It's all uphill from there.