"The LORD, He is God; the LORD, He is God."

How is it that we can feel so close to God one moment and so absolutely desolate and apart from Him the next? Have you ever found that sometimes, even after your most amazing experiences with Him, that you can still plop on the floor in total and complete frustration and wonder where He is? I briefly talked about this in a recent post entitled What Builds Your Faith?, so you can reference back to that one if you'd like.

I'm reminded of Elijah on Mount Carmel in 1Kings 18, and 19. He was a great man of God: victorious in many ways. The Lord sent him into Samaria to turn it's people from Baal - to show them God's face. So Elijah challenges Baal's followers and says, "...I alone am left a prophet of the LORD, but Baal's prophets are 450 men. Now let them give us two oxen; and let them choose one ox for themselves and cut it up, and place it on the wood, but put no fire under it; and I will prepare the other ox and lay it on the wood, and I will not put a fire under it. Then you call on the name of your god, and I will call on the name of the LORD, and the God who answers by fire, He is God" (18:22-24). Baal's followers agreed to this, and once the offerings were arranged, they began to cry out to Baal, continuing on from morning to noon with no reply. However, at the evening sacrifice, Elijah cried out to the LORD, asking Him to answer so as to prove to His people that He is God. "Then the fire of the LORD fell and consumed the burnt offering and the wood and the stones and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench. When all the people saw it, they fell on thier faces; and they said, 'The LORD, He is God; the LORD, He is God'" (18:38,39).

Now let me just interject with a bit of commentary: When I first heard this story I had said, "WOW. If God used me in this way: if He used me to lead that many people to Him in such a powerful, miraculous way, I think I'd be on top of the world! There's no way that I could ever doubt again!" But let us look a little further into Elijah's story in chapter 19, where after Jezebel hears of Elijah's "antics" if you will, she sends a messenger to Elijah basically proclaiming her plan to put Elijah to death for what "he's done". Here we see Elijah slip into a deep depression: "But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree; and he requested for himself that he might die, and said, 'It is enough; now, O LORD, take my life, for I am not better than my fathers'" (19:5)

Elijah is so distraught over his "impending death", that he seems to forget the magnitude, the sheer power of the God he is serving. Just a day or two prior, the LORD sent his fire from heaven to touch the earth before Elijah's very eyes, and yet rather than rejoicing in God's victories and trusting God to protect him, to see him through this, he sat forlorn and discouraged, ready to die.

It absolutely blew my mind when I (recently) heard this story, because as much as I wanted to marvel in complete wonder at Elijah's momentary bout of weakness and seeming lack of faith, I couldn't help but realize: I can totally relate. Even the greatest men of God, the most victorious, the most faithful: they all saw thier depressive moments, where they found themselves in pits of sorrow and despair so deep, they thought they might never get out. While we're in these "pits", when we experience our dark times, when we feel so low and so far from God... is when we need Him the most. Someone just recently told me: "Even if you can't muster up enough energy, enough faith to cry out to God and to get in the word, pretend. Pretend it will help. Pretend that God will hear you, even if you don't believe it at that very moment. I guarantee you: He will. God will remain faithful." And you know? It did help. And God reveals Himself to us in our faithfulness - even if it's purely faithfulness in our obedience: He blesses us for that. This reminds me of a song (of course), which I'll actually be singing this Sunday at church - rather fitting if you ask me!

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

Why should I feel discouraged

Why should the shadows come

Why should my heart feel lonely

And long for heaven and home?

When Jesus is my portion

My constant friend Is He

His eye is on the sparrow

I know he watches me

His eye is on the sparrow

I know he watches me

I sing because I'm happy

I sing because I'm free

His eye is on the sparrow

I know he watches over me

I'm going to also leave you with a Psalm that I came across last night that was such an encouragement to me, and I hope that it blesses your life in some way as well.

Psalm 121

I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;

From where shall my help come?

My help comes from the LORD,

Who made heaven and earth.

He will not allow your foot to slip;

He who keeps you will not slumber.

Behold, He who keeps Israel

Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD is your keeper;

The LORD is your shade on your right hand.

The sun will not smite you by day,

Nor the moon by night.

The LORD will protect you from all evil;

He will keep your soul.

The LORD will guard your going

out and your coming in

From this time forth and forever.

How precious are we to our Maker, our Creator, our Father, and our Comforter that He will keep us: that he will keep our souls and guard us now and forever? That to me is enough encouragement in these dark times to keep me going. Even if my faith seems significantly smaller than a mustard seed, I have to remind myself that I am His child, and so long as I am, He will be by my side, guiding me along the way: and that will never change.