Dear Jadon...

Mr. Lavik, I must confess. I didn't know you were seriously dating anyone. I didn't know you were on the concorde express to marriage-dom when I wrote this. I really didn't! It was actually just an attempt to entertain my readers, and (especially) myself.

Recently I saw on your blog (yes, I found your blog, and yes, you can now call me a stalker) this picture of you and your beautiful new bride... Stephanie.

But NOT before some sneaky-peak person visited my site from San Clemente, CA WHICH I found out happens to be your hometown (yes, I'm a private investigator too, didn't you know?), and left me THIS comment:

"Anonymous said...
Jadon's engaged. So I think your outta luck!"

I must admit, that, while I'm thrilled for you, I was a bit sad for myself that my grande attempts at stalkerdom failed me miserably. Ah well... such is life I guess. However, since then, I have seen that same person return to my site a few times, and I have now come up with the following conclusions.

It is either:

A. You (Jadon) visiting me for a good hearty laugh. (Which, yes, you were supposed to Google yourself and find me... but you were supposed to fall in love. Not laugh.)

B. You (Jadon) and your wife visiting me for a good hearty laugh together.

or

C. You (yes, you Jadon) and your friends... visiting me for a good hearty laugh. Together.

But I am here today, my friend, to tell you that your time under the sun has passed. That's right! I have moved on. And while I will always cherish your vocal stylings (cause let's face it - ANY man who can sing well is good in my book - not enough of you (men who can sing) out there by the way), I have set my sights on an even more unrealistic target. A more highly visible man who shares an even more similar taste in music as me. Someone who, for a lack of a better way to describe it, should have been born black too- just like me. The fact is - this man has SOUL. And I can't think of a better, more unrealistic fantasy man to pine after than America's very own musical idol...

Taylor Hicks.

I tried to get a picture of him, but blogger would not let me, so allow me to give you a visual with words:

With his silver hair, tall physique, classic taste in dress, and his captivating green eyes that almost say to me... "Stephanie... you're the one..."... Do you even wonder then, why he is my new crush?

I read an article in People Magazine that told me in many more words, that he's the man of my dreams. How do I figure, you ask?

He's a lover of jazz (check!), the man has SOUL (check!), he's tall (check! check!), his ideal of a relaxing Sunday afternoon: putting on a potroast, listening to jazz, all while enjoying the view from his balcony (oh check!check!check!). He doesn't play games, he is kind, considerate, sweet, and yet charming - full of passion for all the same things as me.

Well...

...except for the whole loving God thing.

But we can pray him into a relationship with Christ, can't we? That's... um... easy enough! Suuuure. Not a problem. Future relationship with Christ? (check!!!!!!!!) See? So once that happens, then we can start our music ministry together!

Don't you just love how my mind works?

So, sorry Jadon. The laughs must cease, because you are no longer the man of my dreams: mainly because you failed to meet one of my requirements. (See letter F on my post of how to woo me.) So, after this post has been up for a day or two, I'll be RE-posting "How to Woo Me..." replacing you (Jadon) with my future husband-man (Taylor Hicks).

**********************

**Disclaimer - I am really not this crazy: this is simply yet again an attempt to entertain myself. Jadon, your music is excellent, and I really do enjoy it. Blessings to you and your wife in your new lives together.

Taylor, I really do think we'd be perfect for one another - being that we're both soulful singers and all (see above for more details) - but I'm sure you have a million women telling you the same thing. I really enjoy your voice and your music, and can't wait to see what the future holds for your career. God bless.**

***To my readers: if you think that people who you talk about on your blogs don't find you - think again. Katie - I'll bet you Shane has taken a peek at your blog once or twice too. Do you think we might be on to something here?!**