Update

God is good, friends. He truly is. This time off of ministry has been a tough road for me to walk: it really feels like a swift kick in the gut when you have to take a step down from the very thing you are called to do. Kind of seems like an oxymoron when you think about it: but the difference is, that it's only for a time - it's not forever. But yet, in the midst of the tears, the broken heart, the grief over said temporary loss: it feels like forever. It really does!

But God is so amazing, that he takes that grief, and He turns our mourning into dancing. He sets our feet on a solid rock, and He bestows upon us a "garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair". So: ironically enough - even as I grieve over having to give up my position of "public praise" for a time, He promises that in that grief He is going to replace that dispair with a spirit of praise - the very thing I felt like I lost. But the difference is: He wants that praise for Himself.

What a concept!

I guess looking back, I grew up as a Christian in the worship ministry: I never put much thought into the fact that perhaps I wasn't praising Him enough when it was just He and I. I had become so used to being a worship leader: leading others into the presence of The Almighty and pouring my praises out to him in front of hundreds of people every week, that I missed a very crucial part of the equation. Before I can fully operate in that annointing and move into the plan that He has for me in full-time ministry, I have to make it solely about Him.

I know many of you are probably wondering how this has just become an epiphany to me now after four years of being in the ministry. Well, let me just say, that some people are just slow learners. Okay well, maybe that's just a little harsh: but I've always been one to have to learn the "hard way" so to speak. Not that I even do it on purpose because I just like getting my face rubbed in the gravel! No no! But it just seems to work out that way. However, as I get older, and the lessons get tougher, I find that it is wisdom to listen to those around you who know a thing or two about a thing or two: and that includes, if not exclusively personifies God in His entirety in terms of what His role should be in my life. But you know, sometimes we don't realize that we need to give Him that place in our lives until all we have is Him.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. No sir! But I am looking forward to exploring a life of trying everyday to please Him and Him alone. So in addition to my quiet time and digging into the Word, it also means taking time each day to worship him: to offer up my heart, my voice, and even my mediocre guitar and piano playing abilities to Him. I know that He's desiring that I use this time to the absolute full by pursuing Him and His call on my life with everything I have in me. Truthfully though, He wants that of all of us at all times: however, sometimes He has to bring us to the very end of ourselves before we realize how badly we actually need Him.

And boy, do I need Him.