I Think I May Just Move To Africa...

I've been saying quite a lot lately that I'm seriously considering a move to a far off land. Africa does sound nice... a little impoverished, sure, but I could make due. A friend of mine just moved to Hawaii today... I could go with her. I have friends of friends who live in Perth, Australia: I should crash with them for awhile. Would this be running away from a problem? That seems to be the common consensus. Are all those who have voiced thier opinions right? I say NO! I'm young! I'm adventurous! I want to go out and see the world! I want to get away from all the crap here in... oh. Wait. *sigh*

There's always going to be a part of us that wants to run when things get tough... especially relationally. Conflict, criticism (and not always of a constructive nature), confrontation... are all things that most of us don't care to have to deal with on a regular basis. Of course there's a definite amount of work that needs to and should go in to any healthy relationship to keep things rolling along. But unless you thrive on the rush and excitement of the "rollercoaster relationship", then it's nothing but frustrating and stressful to have to engage in an argument or "discussion" for the sake of someone you love... over, and over and over again. I'm sure you guessed that I'm no stranger to this, otherwise I wouldn't be "ranting" about it.

Relationships are so extremely complex... No matter who you're intertwined with, no matter the nature of the relationship. There are always going to be many different facets that make the two of you tick: and sometimes explode. More often than not, we find ourselves doing everything in our power to make these relationships work; because really, who wants to lose out on an extremely meaningful relationship? Who wants to see all that time and energy spent- wasted? Do you ever really want to have to tell someone that there's just "no way we'll ever make it as 'friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife"?

I see good in everyone. So it would take me getting hit by the proverbial Mack truck before I've finally had enough. I often times think I try too hard, love too much, and fight too little. That's a scary, rather vulnerable combo, wouldn't you say? I'm sure it depends on the individual that I would be dealing with. Someone who gives, tries and loves as much as I do, most likely wouldn't require me to have to fight. There's fighting for the sake of argument, and there's fighting for something you believe in for the relationship. I choose the latter, and even then, could we please only have to do it once in a great while? The other type of individual would be the one who preys on our weaknesses (ie: my loving too much, fighting too little) and uses it as a means of controlling the relationship. A means to fight. A means to get you while you're down. But sometimes, even that person (believe it or not) is worth keeping around if only they can change that one thing about themselves (and most likely with your help). But can you teach an old dog new tricks? Is it worth sticking around for and not running for the hills?

I choose the fight right now. But if I grow weary, does anyone have a couch in a far off land that I could crash on for a couple of months?